An All Dogs Texas Vacation... Or What? Part 02

[The next morning, everyone (except Ricky and Sasha) is at the table in the dining room. Sasha, walking on her back feet, brings a plate of sausage and eggs in a basket (you know, eggs cooked in a hole in a slice of bread; eggs-and-toast) to Charlie, one to Itchy, one to Annabelle the Younger, one to Laila, one to Katrina, and one to Oliver. Ricky has not come out yet… heck, he has barely woken up.]

Sasha: Charlie, could you kindly see if Ricky is up and let him know breakfast is ready?

Charlie: Anything for you, Sasha. [gets up from the table and heads to the hallway and its second bedroom on the left side (according to the perspective of anyone getting from the living room). He finds Ricky just getting off his bed, in his sleeveless A-shirt and boxer briefs, putting on his blue clogs, which he uses as house shoes.] Oh, you’re getting up already. Good. Anyway, breakfast is ready.

Ricky: [tired] That’s nice. I’ll be down as soon as I’ve packed! [He puts his glasses on, then he packs his electronic tablet (some kind of computer) in his backpack with a charger, some clothes, headphones, an MP3 Player (that can be played with or without headphones), a toothbrush, floss, toothpaste, chocolate bars, onion ring chips, peppermints, and a pillowcase. How can he avoid damaging his tablet? Before he can find out…]

Itchy: [hollering, off-screen] Hurry up, Ricky, before your breakfast gets cold! You won’t like it any better microwaved than you will like it cold, which you won’t, so come down!

Ricky: I hear you, Itchy, but I haven’t packed or gotten dressed!

Itchy: [off-screen] That’s okay, Ricky! You can do those after breakfast!

Ricky: If you say so!

[He gets down the hall, wearing his nightwear and blue clogs.]

Oliver: Does he always wear those shoes in the house?

Laila: Yeah! Must he?

Ricky: [off-screen] No, and that adds to the good of my wearing them! I do it for exceptionalism, so at least one does.

Itchy: Ricky, the real word is “exceptionalness.”

Ricky: Whatever you say.

[Silence at the table. Ricky is sitting next to Charlie with his eggs-in-a-basket, cinnamon circle (that was a circular cut-out from the toast when making the hole for the eggs, fried in butter and then covered in cinnamon-sugar), and sausage. He has a drink of orange juice with it, like everyone else.]

Ricky: So, Sasha, who’s going to take over the management of the café while we’re gone? [cuts his “basket” (the part of the toast with the egg in the hole) with his fork.]

Sasha: Gerta.

Itchy: You know, Ricky, if you really don’t want to come, we can still let Gerta take over the management.

Ricky: No, Itchy. I’ll be fine… that is, if we have enough time to go shopping before we get to the trailer park.

Charlie: What do you want to go shopping for?

Ricky: A mattress to carry along, egg crate or air mattress. You see, I have no intention on sleeping uncomfortably or with anyone else.

Charlie: Now, that won’t be necessary. Why not use couch cushions as a mattress instead? You can always ask our fan’s Uncle Jackal if you can use their couch’s cushions as a mattress.

Ricky: But what if he says “no”, or, or, or there just aren’t enough for my entire body length?

Annabelle the Younger: You mean height?

Ricky: No, Annie, I mean “length.” “Height” is only right when I’m standing up. When I’m lying down, my height is my length. Maybe “base” is the word. Whatever. [picks up his cinnamon circle and takes a bite of it]

[The group continues eating their breakfast.]

Itchy: Ricky, does Katie know you’re leaving?

Ricky: Yeah. [takes a few bites of his sausage]

Charlie: Ricky was up late last night doing artwork, then when I told him it was late, he was e-mailing his girlfriend, but because he had no time to e-mail the rest of his own group, he asked her to tell the rest about it; but then, before he turned off the computer, he made sure he was logged off for his own safety and that he had the power strip turned off and unplugged.

Laila: Why would he turn off and unplug the power strip?

Ricky: Concerning unplugging the power strip, it’s because it’s faster than just unplugging the computer plug first. As for turning it off, it’s so it stays working when it’s unplugged or plugged back in. But unplugging at all, that’s so my computer won’t be fried because of a thunderstorm, whether I’m asleep or away from home. [pause]

Charlie: Itchy, did you consider taking Bess with you?

Itchy: Yes, in fact, I asked. She’d love to.

Charlie: That’s great. In fact, I think Kathy would like to meet her.

[The group continues to eat their breakfast.]

[Cross-fade. We find Ricky (in his red short-sleeved polo-style shirt with a blue stripe between two red stripes, each adjacent to a white stripe, all horizontal, a pair of blue slacks, white socks, and brown shoes) with his backpack and a fanny pack around his waist, Charlie, Sasha, Itchy, Annabelle the Younger, Laila, Katrina, and Oliver look back and wave to Gerta. Bess, in her purple sweats (with green trim) run after them.]

Bess: Guys! Wait!

Itchy: [looks] Oh. Hi, Bess. [opens up his arms into which she runs] Glad you could make it. [they hug and rub noses]

Bess: [looking at Ricky] I think I remember seeing him. He was one of the ushers at Lou Clarke’s wedding.

Sasha: Bess, this is Ricky Marx. He looks up to us as additional family, even though almost all of us are dogs.

Ricky: [holds out his hand toward Bess] Enchanté. [Subtitled as “Nice to meet you.”] Nice to meet you.

Bess: [shaking her paw with him] I’m pleased to finally meet you, Ricky. I saw you at the wedding reception.

Sasha: Ricky speaks French to me sometimes because my maiden name is in that language.

[Charlie is conflicted. He has the intention of making sure they get to the trailer park sooner, but he has no idea whether he should use the miracle dog tag or not; he could use it to get them there sooner, especially if they were late, but then, that would be misusing it, as that’s only for emergencies when it comes to people or other animals being in need. Meanwhile, Ricky takes out his cell phone and makes a call.]

Katrina: Whatcha doing, Ricky?

Ricky: Calling my sister Shannon. She drives a full-sized van, and I’m calling her because dogs are forbidden on buses, and we need a quick ride to the airport so as to make sure we’re not late. The letter said to be there at noon, right? Now what is the nearest airport, particularly that with flights to Houston?

Charlie: It’s the Silver Entrance Airport.

[“Silver Entrance” is supposed to parody “Golden Gate,” whereas “entrance” was from looking for a synonym for “gate.”]

Ricky: Thanks, Chaz. [shows an expression of impatience due to continual ringing.]

Female Phone Voice: [voice-over] Phone number for…

Woman’s Voice: [voice-over] Shannon Marx…

Female Phone Voice: [voice-over] Can’t get your call right now.

[Before the message can be continued, Ricky just hangs up and growls irritantly.]

Itchy: Not there, huh, Ricky?

Ricky: [grouchily sighs] Obviously not… or she may not have her cell phone on, or it may be dead… or she may be dead. [screams] AND THAT WAS THE ONLY TRANSPORTATION I KNOW THAT USES A FULL-SIZED VAN!!

Sasha: Ricky Marx, how would you expect us to get there if you’re just going to scream?

Ricky: How can we get to the airport since the only way I know of isn’t available?! My sister Shannon drives a full-sized van. A FULL-SIZED van! And she is not available!

Bess: Instead of screaming about it, Ricky, why don’t you text her?

Ricky: Sure, but you know, it may be too late by the time she is available. [off-screen, he unlocks his phone and clicks on the text button. He is stressed in doing this because of how he has to look closely at the small letter and symbol keys, and his fingertip is too big, making it too hard.]

Annabelle the Younger: Hey, dad! Use the miracle dog tag!

Ricky: Don’t take your father for granted, Annabelle. It’s for emergencies only.

Annabelle the Younger: This is an emergency.

Ricky: In a way, yes, but that’s when it comes to helping people or other animals on missions your namesake… you know, the one you’re named after… or is it that you’re her namesake… who cares? Well, it’s on missions Annabelle the Elder sends your dad and Uncle Itchy on.

Itchy: Did he just call me “Uncle”?

Ricky: I do that when I’m referring to you in the third-person and when I’m talking to Oliver and/or the puppies. [checks his text messages. He has no more.] This is not good… maybe Shannon has a job and I don’t know it. That had better be the case.

Charlie: Ricky, if she’s dead, or her cell phone is dead, it may not be her fault.

[The music for the song “Hold On” from The Secret Garden begins. Annabelle had previously sung this to Charlie in Charlie & Itchy’s Quest for the Bride-to-Be.]

Charlie: We’ll think of a way to get there.

[sung] What you’ve got to do is finish

What you have begun.

I don’t know just how,

But it’s not over till you’ve won.

When you see the storm is coming,

See the lightning part the skies,

It’s too late to run;

There’s terror in your eyes.

What you do then is remember

This old thing you’ve heard me say:

It’s the storm, not you,

That’s bound to blow away.

Hold on.

Hold on to someone standing by-y-y.

Hold on.

Don’t even ask how long or why.

Child, hold on to what you know is true.

Hold on till you get through.

Child, oh, child.

Hold on.

When you feel your heart is pounding,

Fear a devil's at your door,

There's no place to hide.

You're frozen to the floor.

What you do then is you force yourself

To wake up and you say,

"It's this dream, not me,

That's bound to go away."

Hold on.

Hold on. The night will soon be by-y-y.

Hold on

Until there's nothing left to try.

Child, hold on. There's angels on their way.

Hold on and hear them say,

"Child, oh, Child..."

And it doesn't even matter

If the danger and the doom

Come from up above, or down below,

Or just come flying at you from across the room.

When you see someone who's raging

And he's jealous and he fears

That you've walked through walls he's hid behind for years.

What you do then is you tell yourself

To wait it out and say,

"It's this day, not me,

That's bound to go away."

Child, hold on.

It's this day, not you,

That's bound to go

Awayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

[End of song. Suddenly, a dark aqua-like green full-sized van arrives. It is driven by a male lion with a mane made like a Lincoln-like beard.]

Male Lion: Hey, Ricky, it looks like you and your pets need a ride! Is that right?

Ricky: Hi, Jeffyr. Yes, we would, but they’re not really my pets. Actually, they own where I live.

Mosiah: Huh? [laughs in disbelief] Yeah, right.

Ricky: This is my brother Jeffyr. By three years, he’s older. Then Shannon after two years, then me.

[Nothing is said.]

Jeffyr: Hop in. [Ricky opens up the back door for the dogs to get in. They buckle themselves in to the surprise of Jeffyr. Ricky then closes the door and gets in the front seat and closes that door too.] Where to?

Ricky: To the Silver Entrance Airport, big bro.

Jeffyr: Will do, little bro. [pause] Wait a minute… do you even have a passport?

Itchy: [whispers from behind him] Yeah. Here. [gives him a passport]

Ricky: [taking the passport from Itchy’s paw] Yeah. [in his head] Just now. [secretly, he texts Itchy. He types in the following to a voice-over that is slow, depending on both the number of letters in the words and in the spaces between words.] Itchy, how did you get those passports?

[In the middle row, Itchy and Bess are holding hands when something vibrates to make Itchy jump despite being buckled in, making it extend. He then checks his “pocket” and takes out his cell phone. He looks and then reads.]

Itchy: [voice-over, while texting him the following] It was easy, Ricky. Charlie and me used some of our profit money to purchase them. [We see that he pushes the “Send” button.]

[Back at the front, Ricky checks his message and receives it.]

Ricky: [voice-over, while texting Itchy the following] It’s “Charlie and I.” “Me” is an verb receiver, an object pronoun, not a verb doer. The verb doer or subject equivalent is “I.” [He hits the “Send” button.] So, how about some music, Jeffyr?

Jeffyr: By all means. Insert a CD.

[Ricky inserts a CD of Sundry Karaoke Songs into the disk drive. He skips to track 3, which plays an instrumental version of Robbie Williams’ cover of “Beyond the Sea.” After a few measures…]

Ricky: [sung] Somewhere

Beyond the sea,

Somewhere

Waiting for me.

My lover stands on golden sands

And watches the ships

That go saiiiiilin’.

Somewhere,

Beyond the sea,

She’s there

Watching for me.

If I could fly like birds on high,

Then straight to her arms,

I’d go saiiiiilin’.

[Back in the back seat, the following lyrics are in the background with either of the following dogs singing along.]

Bess & Ricky: [sung] It’s far

Beyond the star.

It’s near

Beyond the moon.

Itchy & Ricky: [sung] I know

Beyond a doubt,

My heart

Will lead me there soon.

Bess, Itchy, & Ricky: [sung] We’ll meet…

Ricky: [sung] I know we’ll meet

Bess, Itchy, & Ricky: [sung] Beyond the shore,

And we’ll kiss

Just like before.

Happy we’ll be beyond the sea,

And never again,

I’ll go saiiiiilin’.

[Instrumental break. After that short part.]

Sasha: [to Bess] Wow, Bess, you know that song?

Bess: Yeah, and what a lovely one it is.

Oliver: What is that song?

Sasha: “Beyond the Sea.” What do you think of it so far?

Oliver: It sounds good. I never heard that song, and I never knew Ricky could sing.

Annabelle the Younger: He sure can.

Sasha, Charlie, & Ricky: [sung] [holds the note at “I” for three beats] I know

Beyond a doubt

My heart

Will lead me there soon.

We’ll meet…

I know we’ll meet

Charlie, Sasha, the Puppies, Oliver, Itchy, Bess, & Ricky: [sung] Beyond the shore,

And we’ll kiss

Just like before.

Happy we’ll be beyond the sea,

And never again,

I’ll go saiiiiilin’.

No more sailin’.

Ricky: [sung] Ix-nay on the ailin’-say.

Dogs & Oliver: [spoken] Huh?

Ricky: [sung] No more sailin’.

O-say ong-lay ailin’-say.

No more sailin’.

Arewell-fay ailin’-say.

No more sailin’.

[He lets the song finish without any more voices.]

[He checks his message. Suddenly, he feels a vibrate in his hand, finding out he just received a message. He unlocks his phone, pushes the “Text” button, and he then finds a message.]

Sasha: [voice-over as Ricky’s reading it] “Ricky, you sing so wonderfully, but why the Pig Latin?”

Ricky: [pushes the text box and types the following to a voice-over] Just for effect.

Itchy: [voice-over] “Oliver asks if we’re there yet. ‘Yeah,’ the puppies say in agreement with the question.”

[Back to the back seat.]

Ricky: [voice-over] “No, not yet.”

Itchy: No, not yet.

[The puppies and Oliver groan.]

[Now, a caption reads “31 minutes later…” An airplane is shown in the sky flying over the Southern states. The eight animals are confined to three carriers. Itchy and Bess are both confined to one carrier, Sasha, the puppies, and Oliver are confined to another, and Charlie is confined to another. In the passengers’ cabin, Ricky sighs.]

Ricky: [voice-over, about the seven dogs and Oliver] I hope they’re doing all right in those carriers.

[Ricky did not like that idea, but he didn’t want them insecure either. Yes, he was aware that he was dependent in their house, but he had to follow air travel policy, especially for their own security. He sighs in sorrow.]

[Back in the cargo cabin, whatever it is called…]

Katrina: This is not fair!

Sasha: I know, Katrina. [kisses Katrina’s cheek] Ricky doesn’t like this any more than we do, but he doesn’t want to go against air travel policy and then get arrested.

Charlie: Because we’re only domestic animals and Ricky’s more human-like than we are, we appear to be pets to him, so if he got arrested, it could be off to the pound with us, so let’s just hang on until this flight is over.

[Back in the passenger cabin, Ricky yawns and begins to take a nap, as he had been up late last night.]